I was browsing through Last FM last night, as I usually do. I cannot get enough of that website, I love showing off my musical tastes! I was checking out some of the artists from the new music I had on my iPod, which consisted mostly of artists from the Twilight soundtrack. I came across Robert Pattinson’s Last FM page, as Twilight fans will know, he has two of his own songs on the compilation, Never Think and Let Me Sign. (I must say, he is great at acting but I think he’s a superb singer! He’s like Damien Rice meets Ray LaMontagne, folky and very appealing to the ear. He should pursue that career instead).
On his artist page, under the heading similar artists, I noticed that the first similar artist was a three-piece girl band called The Bella Cullen Project. This is the first I’ve heard of such a band, I’ve been obsessive about Twilight for just over a week now, I gasped at the horror! What the hell was this, some kind of spoof? And who are they? I proceeded to find out more.
The band are from Arlington, Texas and uploaded their first Twilight-inspired songs to Myspace in 2007. Members of the band are Chandler Nash, Ally Kiger and Tori Randall. They were in 8th grade at school when the band was set up and are currently in high school. Their self-titled debut album is available to buy on CD and on iTunes with another album set to be released later on this year. Songs include Vampwolf, Dig Me A Grave and Sexy Vampire. Apparently they have performed in front of Stephanie Meyer, the author of the Twilight Saga and have even met Robert Pattinson himself.
I love Twilight the film, I love Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, I love Robert Pattinson and I am loving what I am reading of the Twilight book so far. I am one who believes in expression of the self. I believe in freedom of speech, which is why I am about to begin my ranting. If you listen to their songs, they actually sound okay. They can sing and if you don’t attend to the lyrics too much, you’ll think their songs are listenable. But once you turn your ear towards the lyrics, that is when all respect goes out of the window! Below is the chorus of the cringe-worthy song titled Sexy Vampire:
“She’s our hero
How many times in our lives can we drool over vampires?
She’s our hero
‘Cause Edward’s so hot he can set the house on fire…
Yeah, he’s one sexy vampire
Cringe, cringe, CRINGE! I had to stop the YouTube video after the first chorus! The melody doesn’t sound cheesy but the lyrics certainly are! I have heard some of the cheesiest of songs but this one, by a long mile, takes the cake. Why can’t these girls sing about normal life as a teenager? You know, songs about teenage angst and puppy love crushes. Not life as a teenager stuck in their own fantasy world of Vampires and Werewolves. Seriously, if I were Stephanie Meyer, I would have sued their fat asses for trying to buy into my work, my art! They really need to get a life, quick. But more so are those Twilight fans who are buying into this. Why can’t The Bella Cullen Project do something else to show their inspiration for Twilight? Do what most teens are doing these days, write a blog, create a website, set up a fan club! I appreciate the enthusiasm but please don’t sing pathetic songs about how hot Edward Cullen is! He’s not even real! You’re a LOSER if you a) are in The Bella Cullen Project or b) Support The Bella Cullen Project. I’m sure what Stephanie Meyer and the entire cast think, is that you are sad, pathetic and in need of some therapy. Trust me, they may say to the press that it’s awesome The Bella Cullen Project support Twilight and are inspired by it so much, but they are only patronising. They have to say that, otherwise it’ll be all over the tabloids “Cast of Twilight snub sweet, inspired fans”. And some of the fans are not sweet, they’re CRAZED! The Bella Cullen Project are going to grow up and exclaim ‘Oh my God, how sad were we!’ This is an obsession gone too far. If they think the cast of Twilight are enthralled by this ‘project’, then they are definitely from another planet!
Before I go, here’s a YouTube video of Sexy Vampire so you can listen for yourselves: