On Friday night/Saturday morning, for some reason I couldn’t get to sleep. This is a known problem, the latest I have been to sleep before is 5am in the morning. However, on this particular occassion I managed to fall asleep at 2pm, I had a little snooze for about an hour. This meant that I had stayed up 24 hours minus the nap I had. It had then come to Saturday night/Sunday morning and I fell asleep somewhere around 8am. This must mean that I had spent 48 hours awake. My body clock is so confused at the moment and I do not know how to correct it.
Do I have insomnia? Or is it sleep phase disorder? It feels like I have jet lag. This pattern of not sleeping was only a rare occassion, usually I have no more than 8 hours sleep every night. I don’t wake up late because I have had more sleep than usual. I wake up late because my body has become used to being nocturnal. I always joked about being a night owl but this really is ridiculous! I have a degree to complete, final year is majorly important. I can’t afford to miss my lectures and seminars. And being awake when a large majority of people in the UK are asleep is just not healthy let alone normal. Our bodies need to be exposed to light, this is how we function.
It is a real difficulty for me to get up in the mornings too. I have tried all things to get me up, including the old ‘alarm trick on the other side of the room’ thing. Nothing works. I feel disappointed in myself and I feel lazy, even though it isn’t anything to do with laziness. I think, most of the time I go to sleep late because I fear sleeping. I fear not being able to wake myself in time for an important lecture or seminar. I will proceed to stay up all night, so that I can go to my lecture or seminar and not miss it. But eventually, my body naturally calls itself to sleep and I end up waking up late, which reinforces the fear more so.
Sunday night/this morning I stayed up too, I somehow dozed off at 9am and didn’t wake up till 4pm. That’s not the worst part, the worst part is that at about 5.30pm I went to sleep again till 8pm. This isn’t a normal sleeping pattern, even for me. And I don’t know how to correct it, I feel so deflated and disorientated. I haven’t even eaten yet, I’m going to eat after I’ve posted this blog. Yes, my blog is more important than my hunger. If anyone can share any light on this seemingly bizarre phenomenon then please comment.